


Alive Back From the Dead

by amtrak12



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7910173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amtrak12/pseuds/amtrak12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin has trouble processing everything after the battle in Times Square and the portal. Takes place between saving the city and having drinks at the bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alive Back From the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Uh basically I had a lot of feelings about Erin and Abby so I wrote about Erin having a lot of feelings. Title from Taylor Swift's This Love because it's on my Erin/Abby playlist and I'm way too sleepy to think up something else.

Adrenaline still pulses through her veins as Erin spreads the dye through her hair. She keeps her focus on one section at a time: separate the strands, brush on the dye; separate the strands, brush on the dye. Her hands don't shake if she focuses like this. The external whirlwind of thoughts and emotions are kept at bay.

She washes her hands after she gets everything covered (or she thinks she got everything covered; she should have had someone helping her dye it, but who could she have asked?)

_(Abby or Holtzmann or Patty.) ___

__She forgot for a moment, even though she was just with them less than an hour ago. She isn't used to having friends to ask when she needs help with something so mundane as dyeing her hair after a trip into a ghost dimension turned it white._ _

__She grips the bathroom counter. Her heart pounds all over again as blurry images of green and red flash before her eyes._ _

__This is why the adrenaline is still pumping. They faced down a ghost apocalypse and won. They won. Erin should feel thrilled by that, and she was, earlier she was. But now... well, she doesn't know what she's feeling now._ _

__Overwhelmed. Restless. Twitchy -- twitchy is a good word for it. Also trapped. She feels fidgety but unable to move. Her mind is scattered in a thousand directions and can't follow a single line of thought._ _

__She tightens her grip on the counter. The rough underside of the counter's lip is just textured enough to register on her thumbs._ _

___They won, they won, they won._ _ _

__They defeated Rowan. They got rid of all the ghosts. They saved the city, and everyone was safe. Everyone was safe._ _

__Her apartment is too quiet. That's what the problem is. Erin forces her body to move, and she enters her bedroom to turn on the TV._ _

__It's only the news playing. Reporters trying desperately to come up with explanations for what the city just experienced that don't include the words 'ghosts' or 'apocalypse' and failing miserably at it._ _

__It's frustrating. It doesn't help._ _

__But it does bring up more images of the battle. More reminders of how it's real; that fight was real. They really did fought off an army of ghosts, and they survived._ _

__They survived._ _

__The two don't quite line up in her mind. She can't quite accept both are true even though one is proof of the other. The battle happened. It was real. They won and survived. If they hadn't, she wouldn't be in her apartment right now, but she is. She's okay. They won._ _

__It doesn't feel real enough. There's shaky footage of a black sky and whirling, green vapors dashing through the streets that some news stations are already recanting and apologizing for airing, and it just doesn't feel real enough._ _

__Her phone rings._ _

__Erin jumps. Stares at it in blank shock for a moment, before answering after the second ring._ _

__"Hello?"_ _

__"You have got to give me your cell phone number," came a voice from the other end that could only belong to Abby. Erin closes her eyes in relief. "This is getting ridiculous."_ _

__"Sorry," she says. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. We were pretty much always together unless I was at my apartment."_ _

__"Except earlier when Rowan went all possession-happy."_ _

__Oh. Right. When Erin had needed a break from the mayor's office's lies and people on the streets shouting hurtful insults at them. When all hell had apparently broken loose just after she left._ _

__"Cell phones probably would have helped then."_ _

__"No kidding," Abby says. "I left four messages for you at home because I didn't know how else to get hold of you."_ _

__Erin frowns. She glances over to her answering machine and sure enough the light's blinking with new messages. She hadn't even noticed that._ _

__"I thought you might have decided you'd had enough of busting ghosts and were ignoring us," Abby adds. There's a hint of a joke in her tone, but it completely falls flat. Erin's breath catches at what Abby's not quite saying. She thought Erin had left again. She thought Erin had abandoned them, abandoned her again. She might have thought Erin wasn't coming to help at all when Rowan started up his portal again._ _

__"Abby," her voice breaks._ _

__"Now, what's your number?" Abby pushes on. "So I can finally have it for future emergencies."_ _

__Erin's throat hurts. "I meant it."_ _

__"Meant what?" Abby asks, sounding genuinely confused. Erin doesn't know if it's because she's forgotten or because she didn't believe her, but either way it bears repeating._ _

__"When I said I wasn't going to leave you, when we-- earlier in--" the portal, the flashing green swirls of light with zero guarantee of getting out of there, but it didn't matter because she'd rescued Abby. "I meant it. I _mean_ it, I'm not leaving this time, Abby. I won't."_ _

__"I know. I know you won't." (Erin's shaking her head, though Abby can't see it.) "It's okay."_ _

__"No, it's not." Erin looks at the blinking light on her answering machine again. It's too much like those blinking messages from years ago, the ones Abby left, frantic, as the time for that local network interview ticked closer and closer and Erin was nowhere to be found; the ones Abby left after the interview was over, angry and confused why Erin had stood her up. The ones Erin had ignored -- purposefully back then -- because she just couldn't do it. She just couldn't face the world's criticism and dismissal of all their hard work and theories, she couldn't face being called a fraud. The ones Erin deleted without listening to them first because she was just too scared._ _

__In the surreal mess of facing and defeating a ghost apocalypse, those messages are the only thing Erin can grasp. Abby's belief that Erin abandoned her again is the only thing that fully registers, and it hurts. Erin aches that she made her friend feel like that again. ('Friend' doesn't feel accurate, though best friend doesn't cut it anymore either; Abby is her everything. Abby is _everything_ and Erin hurt her again all because she can't handle some jerks off the street shouting insults at her.)_ _

__"I'm sorry." Erin can feel the tears forming. "Abby, I'm so sorry."_ _

__"God! What are you doing?" The way Abby says it has Erin flashing back to a wonton soup with exactly one wonton, and she thinks something's going on at Abby's apartment._ _

__"What is it? What happened?"_ _

__"I'm coming over there," Abby says._ _

__"Over..." Erin blinks. "Here? To my place?"_ _

__"You clearly cannot be left alone after life-threatening missions to save the city."_ _

__That hardly seems like something to be criticized for. Erin is sure lots of people would have trouble processing that kind of thing._ _

__She wipes the tears from her eyes. "I'm fine."_ _

__"Give me ten minutes," Abby continues like she hadn't spoken. "Gah, I still have dye in my hair. Fifteen minutes. Give me fifteen minutes and I will be at your doorstep so I can keep you from being mopey."_ _

__"I'm not mopey," Erin insists. "I'm... apologetic."_ _

__"Apologetic when you don't need to be anymore. That counts as mopey."_ _

__Erin has about a dozen arguments for that statement -- she does need to apologize still; she'll need to be apologizing for months to even come close to making amends; apologetic or not, she is not _mopey_ \-- but Abby interrupts her when she tries to speak._ _

__"Fifteen minutes!" Then, Abby hangs up._ _

__Erin lowers the phone. Okay, then. Fifteen minutes._ _

__\-----_ _

__Twelve minutes and forty seconds later (Erin wonders if Abby paid a cab driver to break traffic laws to make it here that quickly), Abby knocks at her door._ _

__"Hi," Erin answers it. Something in her chest loosens at seeing Abby. Abby's hair is still damp from the home dye job just like Erin's. They match in their drowned rat looks just like they matched with their white hair after being rescued from the portal. Just like they match in their love of physics, in their favorite TV show, in their taste in music, in their sense of humor. Just like they match in their interest in the paranormal. Just like they always, always match because it's _them_. Even at the end of the world, it was still them: two Ghost Girls holding on to each other in an endless void that wants to destroy them._ _

__Something in her expression must suggest tears are imminent because Abby huffs and takes hold of her waist and arm to spin her around and shove her in away from the door._ _

__"What--?"_ _

__"Inside, come on."_ _

__Abby walks her into the living room, thankfully kicking the apartment door shut behind her as she does so._ _

__"You didn't have to come over, you know," Erin says. Abby releases her so she takes the opportunity to turn around and face Abby properly. "I mean, I'm really glad you did. I was fine, and you didn't need to. But I'm glad you're here."_ _

__Abby has been searching the living room through Erin's speech, and she finally throws her hands in the air at the end like it struck a nerve. "Where is your TV?"_ _

__Or Abby is bothered by something else entirely._ _

__"It's in my bedroom," Erin says._ _

__Abby gives her an incredulous look. "Why is it in there? Why isn't it just in the living room like a normal person?"_ _

__Erin frowns. "Because I work in the living room."_ _

__Abby sighs and grabs her wrist. "Come on."_ _

__She pulls her along to her bedroom (successfully without walking into a wrong room) (not that Erin has any wrong rooms to walk into, the apartment's not that big)._ _

__"You have Netflix, right?" she asks._ _

__Erin nods. "Are we watching something?" She can't think of anything Abby would want to show her right now, and certainly not on Netflix._ _

__"Yes, X-Files." Abby gets the TV on and finds the Netflix app._ _

__"Oh." Somehow X-Files was the last thing Erin expected, even though it makes the most sense now that Abby's said it. "Wow, I haven't watched X-Files in forever."_ _

__"Yeah, I figured." Abby doesn't sound particularly pleased about it. "Did you even finish the series?"_ _

__Erin bites her lip and hesitates in answering long enough for Abby to twist around and look at her. Finally, she shakes her head. "No."_ _

__"Where did you leave off? Season five? Season six?"_ _

__Erin hesitates again, and Abby raises her eyebrow._ _

__"Later?" she asks._ _

__"Season four," Erin admits. She cringes even before Abby reacts._ _

__"What?!"_ _

__Erin puts her hands over her eyes. "I know."_ _

__"What the hell?" Abby demands. "Erin, we were in season five when we stopped talking. How could you leave off in season four?"_ _

__Erin peeks above her hands. "I maybe fell behind before then."_ _

__"What?!"_ _

__Erin shrugs. "It was grad school! There was so much work to do. I was swamped."_ _

__"And you couldn't take an hour out of your week to watch The X-Files?" Abby asks._ _

__Erin shakes her head. Guilt twists in her stomach. She considers explaining how she started distancing herself from the paranormal a while before she stood Abby up for that interview, how she convinced herself she was only cutting out The X-Files because she was too busy with her grad work, that she wasn't pulling away and rejecting, bit by bit, everything they loved and believed in._ _

__But she doesn't have the words to explain that, and even if she did, she couldn't say them when Abby's standing in front of her looking so scandalized and disbelieving that Erin had stopped watching their favorite television show months before she thought she had._ _

__"I'm sorry," she says instead._ _

__Abby still gapes in disbelief. She recovers enough to point at the bed. "Sit."_ _

__Erin complies, and Abby walks over to sit beside her. She brings up The X-Files on the Netflix menu._ _

__"I think it was somewhere near the end of the season," Erin says. "Around April, so episode fifteen or seventeen, maybe?"_ _

__"Nope," Abby says. "We're starting at the beginning." Sure enough, she selects the pilot episode with the remote._ _

__Erin rolls her eyes. "Okay, I remember the pilot. We only watched it a hundred times after we managed to record a rerun."_ _

__Abby holds up her finger. "Starting at the beginning."_ _

__Erin chooses to surrender and lets Abby hit play. She settles more comfortably against her headboard._ _

__Minutes later, while Mulder and Scully are venturing into the field together for the first time, Erin looks over at Abby and asks as casually as she can:_ _

__"Did you watch the revival this year?"_ _

__Her voice is too small. There's too much strain placed on it, and she doesn't even know why she asked because she knows the answer even before Abby nods her head._ _

__"Yeah. It was okay."_ _

__Erin nods and tries to ignore the inexplicable ache in her chest. She refocuses on the screen._ _

__"I'm sure it'll be better the second time."_ _

__Erin turns her head to find Abby looking at her with a smile on her face. An answering smile breaks out across Erin's._ _

__"Now watch," Abby nudges her and points at the TV screen. "They're digging up the grave."_ _

__Erin scoots down deeper against the headboard and leans her head on Abby's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure I could still quote this entire episode."_ _

__"Yes, do it!" Abby taps her leg. "That would be fun."_ _

__On the TV screen, the equipment strap breaks and sends the casket tumbling to the ground. In exact timing with Mulder, Erin echoes the line "It's probably a safe bet Ray Soames never made the varsity basketball team."_ _

__Abby giggles. "That's not even a famous line."_ _

__"I'm telling you, we've seen this episode a hundred times," Erin says._ _

__"Well, it was the only season one episode we managed to record."_ _

__Erin hums. "We were poor college students."_ _

__"With a shitty VCR," Abby adds._ _

__Erin laughs. At the memories of their early college years, at the familiarity of sitting in bed with Abby watching The X-Files, at the warm swelling of affection in her chest and the utter gratefulness that Abby was even here right now in her apartment._ _

__Abby is here and safe and speaking to her because they're friends again, and everything is right in the world._ _

__\---- Bonus -----_ _

__"Aw, rats," Abby says somewhere near the climax of episode two._ _

__"What?"_ _

__"I think I rinsed the dye out too early. The bottom of my hair came out blonde."_ _

__Erin sits up to look. The bottom of Abby's hair does look a lot lighter than the top._ _

__"That's okay," she says. "I'm pretty sure that's a style people actually pay for now."_ _

__"Yeah, maybe."_ _

__Erin checks her own hair now that she's thinking about it. It's hard to see when the room is only lit by the television, but the color doesn't look quite right._ _

__"Does my hair look lighter to you?"_ _

__"I don't know." Abby lifts a strand of her hair one way and then moves a different strand somewhere else. "It looks really even, though, so you did a good job there."_ _

__"That's good," Erin says, but she's still distracted by her hair color. She tries to move into better lighting so she can see it more clearly. Abby bats at her and makes her settle back again._ _

__"Don't worry about it."_ _

__"But--"_ _

__"It's fine. Sit down."_ _

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to find me on Tumblr @ amtrak12


End file.
